Pursuing

For a while it feels we've just been living. Feeling a little uncertain about our surroundings for almost two years. Things just don't feel right...like we are simply here...not thriving...just surviving. A recent sermon had me in tears. I've stopped pursuing God. I've stopped searching and looking and fasting and praying like I need to be. I've stopped spending time on my knees in TOTAL surrender to Him. We felt called a few years ago...called away. We searched...a little...and because it wasn't easy...we gave up. This is comfortable ...home, family, it's what we know. The kids are in routines. They've got friends. We would disrupt everything we know. What hit me in the face is...it's the whole reason we exist. My comfort should not be my first priority. My children's comfort should not be my first priority. My priorities lie with my King and Father. The souls lost because I stopped or don't pursue is not ok. I have this nagging feeling of certainty that I am supposed to be doing something ..that "we" are supposed to be doing something but for the life of me the "what" is the thing I don't know. I truly believe that as I get back to pursuing my God...he will show us the path. He will show us the way...maybe it wasn't the right time. Maybe it is now...maybe not. It's so easy and yet so hard to be comfortable. Comfortable with my four walls...when walls are built every day. My comfort should be in my Jesus. He knows all and controls all. I just need to trust all! 

"...let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1