We were watching a show a couple days ago and someone said “Worry is a bully. It only takes and never gives.” This was profound to me. I had never thought of worry as a bully but this has stuck with me. It is so true! Worry...worry has ALWAYS been something I’ve struggled with. I remember it being exacerbated when David’s Dad died of cancer. After that every ache and pain anyone had..not just me..i found myself in worry and fear. For a long time it was not a good place. Not a peaceful place. At times now I find myself right back there in an instant. It’s frightening, overwhelming and a helpless feeling. Knowing at that time I have to seek God. I have to seek his truth because those feeling are not of Him. I always say I know how the devil likes to come after me. He knows our weaknesses and loves to aggravate and agitate us in those areas. God brought me through some very difficult times of depression and feeling of inadequacy. I had lost a lot of joy in my life. Dwelling on the “what if’s” instead of the blessing in front of me.
The last six months or so have been a time of wandering. Yes “wandering” ...not “wondering”. Feeling that our direction is supposed to shift. That we are supposed to be moving in a different direction but let’s be honest we get comfortable. But in that comfortable there has been great animosity of feeling uncomfortable. Make sense? 😂 We has gotten so comfortable with the day to day that we found ourselves looking at each other and asking the question “what are we doing?”. Not liking the place we are in because we stopped seeking. We stopped listening. We stopped searching. We gave up... so where do we go? Great thing about my God is he never gives up on me. He’s a very patient God but sometimes he has to shake us up to wake us up. For us it’s time to wake up. It’s time to get back to the root of His plan for us. 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t know what that is. I will never know until I seek, ask and give him control. I will never know until I lay it all at his feet and say “here it is Lord”. I am yours. I may have been wandering but as long as I wander back to Him is all that matters. It’s so easy to become complacent...it’s not always easy to step out in faith. God gave me 4 beautiful boys to raise into men...Is that my sole reason for walking this earth? Maybe! But maybe there is something else...I sure don’t want to miss out on every possibility he has for me. It’s time to quit giving up on those bold prayers we had prayed for so long. It’s time to quit giving up on what’s next. It’s time to quit being okay with where we are. Okay isn’t courageous ❤️
