Everlasting promises...

Sorrow..Brokenness..No words..Just pure shattered hearts. Losing someone is one of the hardest things you will encounter. The human flesh cries out in despair. No words are sufficient. Nothing takes the pain away. The loss. The ending of a life. I can't imagine the pain some around us are feeling at this time. Even when you know your loved one is in Christ's arms it's the suddenness that shatters you. What if? I should have....I could have. If only...things we don't understand this side of heaven. Why one gets cancer, why another suffers, one is hurting silently, tragic accidents occur. Hearts are breaking and lives are forever changed. When your only assurance is in the Creator who made all things and knows all things. One can only pray that the pain endured can further His kingdom in some way. Jesus wrap your arms around them. Hold them. Love them. Keep them close Jesus. Do not let them fall away from you. Let them see you clearly in the days ahead. Let them rest in your embrace and your everlasting promises. You never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus we plead you intercede with peace and comfort. When there are no words dear God there is you. A Savior who bled and died so this broken flesh may live.

Endure...

I'm feeling burdened. I don't exactly know why but I feel a weight. Maybe it comes from the day to day junk going on...I don't know. Do you ever have that feeling? When you just want to crawl back in your four walls and pretend the outside world doesn't exist. Pretend like everything is perfect and blissful. But it just isn't so. You know the verse...“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So much truth in this but also a truth that goes misunderstood or overlooked...."God will not give me more than I can handle"....as long as I truly know Him. All this "stuff" this "junk" this overwhelming sense of dread and the heavy burdens can only be managed...can only be tolerable...with Christ by your side. Life is not always grand and great. If it wasn't for my Savior and my daily asking for grace, mercy and forgiveness how would I ever make it through? When I can't see an end in site or when the world is just too heavy to bear...this world is not my home. We are in a season of great hatred in this world. When my naive self wants to live in harmony but the rest of the world is ready to spread hate and discouragement in every direction. Let me just say I am so thankful my God is a forgiving God. That he doesn't hold my past against me. That the words, actions and deeds of my past are gone through His forgiveness. Thank you Jesus I am not who I was 10, 15, 20 years ago. That he forgives me daily for the sinner that I am. I am owed nothing and deserve nothing in this life. This life...this hard place to bear...this burdened life...this overwhelming dread...isn't my end. There will be no end when I enter the kingdom of God. The world as I will know it then will be perfect. Bodies will be made new and whole and these burdens will no longer be. I can only tolerate the burdens of here and now with my Jesus. 

Decrease so I may increase...you've heard it before. The verse in John “He must become greater; I must become less.””

John‬ ‭3:30‬ 

What does that really mean. To be less. To be more. To be this or be that. To say this or to say that. Sometimes it means to do nothing. So many times we want to say something in our belief to be right. We want to lash back at some comment or post and say "what planet are you living on because I don't think it's Earth" ...but this decrease so I may increase may just mean to hold your tongue in anger and abide by Grace. To pray for matters and individuals at hand. To become less self-righteous "for the cause" and maybe take a deeper look at scripture. My God is a big God. A God who knows every thread of time from beginning to end. He knows the days of suffering as well as the days of joy. Will you put your faith in Him or this world? 

Diamonds and Pearls...

When you don't want diamond and pearls...

When what you are longing for is a simple life with your family around you. A chance to make a living and enjoy being together. Sometimes life isn't designed that way and every day seems like a struggle. A struggle for survival. To keep your head above water and make it to the next day. When your prayers is "Lord, grant us provision for the day". Life's hard. When the cars in the shop, you are hit with an unexpected medical bill and the new job just isn't providing because the other job took a huge pay cut. It's life! The days will fail me but my God never will. Despite what is going on in my world or your world. God is here! He's patiently waiting for me to lay the day at his feet saying "Lord, I can't do this on my own. I can't make sense of it. I can't figure out why. It's yours, Lord. I give this worry, this anxiety, this fear over to you." I don't know of anyone who gets to walk through this life without having the daily thought of Why, when or how?  "Life is like a box of chocolates" as Forrest Gump would say..."you never know what you are going to get". Isn't it the truth! Life is filled with trials and temptations that we don't always understand. But we aren't supposed to always understand. Sometimes we can't see what is around the next corner and what God may have planned. Leading one trial into a multitude of blessings. If life were easy we wouldn't seek our Heavenly Father. It would be much easier to go about my day living my life the way I wanted and the way I, I, I saw fit. There's a problem with that sentence. Too many I's and not enough God. It's a daily struggle of seeking after my human flesh desires versus my Fathers plan. Too many times I'm seeking my own answer instead of seeking God's plan. The energy that is wasted spending on worrying and "trying to figure it out" rather than hitting my knees and just asking for help. Seeking God's desire and His will. 

I really don't want diamonds and pearls. I'm just not that kind of girl. I want simple. I'd live on a farm if I thought we could make it. David and I just had this conversation on our drive to Texas last weekend. (Long drives are good for our marriage) I told him when we were first married I felt certain we would farm. He was raised on a farm and my grandparents had farmed for a living. It was a simple way of life...or so I thought as a child! Ha...so much work in that! Life didn't take us in that direction. Some day we would love to have a few acres...but then again it would just be more to take care of. What's important to me right now are my boys. A lot of my time and energy is focused on them. Some would praise me for it and some ridicule. Do I give them too much of me?...Maybe. Will I ever regret this time spent with them...I don't think so. My babies are growing and growing fast. I've got a short window to mold and encourage them before we send them out into this great big world. I'm not a sink or swim kindof girl. I like to prepare them for life's hiccups, adventures and disappointments. I want to be there to cheer them on but also to catch them when they fall. I don't ever want them to feel like they can't come to me for advice and support. I want them to know I'm here for them for as long as God lets me.  An ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. To me there is nothing better than a hug from my momma. A real hug. The one that says "I love you with every breath I take. More than you can ever imagine." The same love my Heavenly Father has for me and you. Knowing that he loves us no matter what. He loves us in spite of our insecurities, anxieties and worries. He always there waiting for us!

Distractions...

They are all around me right now. Begging for my focus and energy. They drain me! The things of this world are just that...OF THIS WORLD. My hope cannot be set on anything other than my Savior who holds the answers and the peace that I want to feel only comes from Him. It is so easy right now to get lost in the political jargon of today. I'm over it. Sick of it. Every time I pick up my phone to scroll through the pages of life it bombards me. The captions...the headlines. Begging me to click and listen. When I do I am just a hot mess...overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety and worry. What about my kids? What about their future? What about our future? I have to step back...I have to step back and pray..."Jesus take the wheel cause I'm about to lose it!"  All I know is God already knows the outcome. I don't know how one candidate is even allowed to run and isn't in jail...maybe its Gods will for what is to come. Trial will come to us...ALL OF US. We will all face the King most high for our actions and decisions.  My job as momma, wife, daughter, sister is to raise my boys in His Light. Not the light or maybe darkness of an election. The election is what it is. My vote will be cast based on the fact that I want to throw up every time I look at her...there is an evil presence there. Its scary...But this isn't about her or about him. This is about my thoughts and mind not getting lost in who is or isn't elected. The way I feel there is nothing right, just or the least bit holy about our government as a whole as it is. I don't expect that to change in the near future. But, my job is to raise up that next generation to make better decisions and to speak out for what they believe. To stand up and stand proud as a follower of Christ and be leaders for His cause. Sure I pray for a reformation in this country ...but we have to raise up a group behind us who believe and pray for the same. Life is hard. Its only going to get harder. The threat of violence and uprising is real and worrisome. However, my fear is not there. My fear is that the Lord will come back with loved ones and neighbors who still don't know the King of Kings. My fear is that they will perish never hearing or believing that there is a Lord of Lords that holds the keys to the everlasting and eternal state they will one day face. What can I do? I'm one. But so are you...and that makes two. Christians who will finally stand and join together for THE cause...The kingdom cause can move mountains! We just have to believe that we can. 

“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

‭‭John‬ ‭8:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The Mosquito...

Mosquitos...those pesky little guys often take their bite out of you leaving you miserable and itchy.  People can be that way too. Ever have those conversations with someone where no matter what you are doing it is never right? You are never doing enough and you should always be doing more. When you hang up the phone with them feeling defeated and start questioning your whole being and everything you do. Yep...a mosquito. Taking their bite out of you. Instantly going into panic mode that your kids are going to turn out to be some sort of oval shaped individual instead of the perfectly rounded one said person has all the answers on how to create. You should do this or that. They should do this or that, be a part of this, go to that, make them do this...all I can say is that this side of heaven I will never have it right. I won't have all the right answers, scenarios, and parenting skills to be the perfect individual to create the next perfect individual. It won't happen. I don't want to be a mosquito...quick to take a bite. I don't walk in their shoes and they don't walk in mine! Maybe instead we should point out all the things they are doing well and be less quick to judge. Hey the kids are fed and clothed today...some days that's a lot! I have had the life sucked out of me at times. Turning into a great big welt. Miserable from all those quick little bites...when I need to be a duck. Letting it all slide right off my back. We are so quick to judge others. Never having taken a step in their shoes but we have all the answers for them. Dear Jesus let me not be a mosquito sucking the life out of others and judging them. I'm guilty of it for sure. Let me lift them up with praise and admiration. Let me put wind under their wings so that they can soar instead of a rock tied to the ankles in defeat. Give us the strength to love when we don't feel like it and give when we don't want to.

 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." Romans 14:19

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

All in...

Ever feel like God plants you in the field of uncomfortable. Often sending those little reminders that we are not here as Christians and followers to be in our comfort zone. To feel like we are just passing through waiting on eternity. Sometimes he plants us in situations outside of our comfort zone so that we can be a guiding light. An example. A chance to be the difference. To show the difference and to witness while being the change he desires. It might not be immediate. It might not even happen but maybe we are planting seeds when we are in these situations. Seeds that might not grown now, or next year or ten years from now but seeds that will leave an imprint for his timing. Being a living example of his Light at any age. After all...“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬ 

I've written before about what are we here for? What am I here for? What did God plant me on this earth to be or do? Recently I read a book called "All In" by Mark Batterson and this stood out to me: "When did we start believing that God wants to send us to safe places to do easy things? That faithfulness is holding the fort? That playing it safe is safe? That there is any greater privilege than sacrifice? That radical is anything but normal? Jesus didn't die to keep us safe. He died to make us dangerous. Faithfulness is not holding the fort. It's storming the gates of hell. The will of God is not an insurance plan. It's a daring plan. The complete surrender of your life to the cause of Christ isn't radical. It's normal. It's time to quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. It's time to go all in and all out for the all in all." I've read this over and over and over...maybe you will to. Hoping that it sinks in that I am not here to be comfortable. I'm here to win souls for Christ. I'm here to raise my boys to win souls for Christ...at any age. Praying the have that relationship now with Christ that it took me years to find. “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬ They won't always be perfect but I believe in this verse as I raise my boys. I believe that living our lives in a Christ centered environment focused on the prize ahead...His kingdom...and leaving His lasting imprint wherever we go through our words and conduct and most of all His love. 

The simple...

Sometimes my prayers seem like echoes. They are repeated and repeated and repeated. Sometimes for what seems like ages. Some answered...some not...some not yet. At times I wonder how long do I keep praying this prayer or how long do I keep interceding for this person or for that. The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing... “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:16-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬. He answers in his timing and in his way but it's our job to be faithful. Faithful to the process of waiting and listening. Asking and seeking. My prayers don't have to be lavish and fluffy...some days I don't have words. Some days the simple prayer of "Jesus"...and you know what..He is there. Listening, waiting, interceding for me. He knows the words even when they don't come out of my mouth. He knows my heart before I even utter one word. He sees our hurts, fears, trials, temptations. 

In reading Max Lucado's "After Amen" this hit home... "Just as a happy child cannot mis-hug, the sincere cannot mis-pray. Heaven knows, life has enough burdens without the burden of praying correctly. If prayer depends on how I pray, I'm sunk. But if the power of prayer depends on the One who hears the prayer, and if the One who hears the prayer is my Daddy (My Jesus), then I have hope."-Max Lucado

Indeed I have hope in knowing that even when the lavishness and fluff have left me. Even when the words just won't exit my body. When the tears fall but the words are silent...my Jesus knows. He knows. He knows. I have hope! I have a God who sees. A God who knows. A God who understands. A God who loves.  He loves you when all is wrong. He loves you when all is right. He loves you when you can't love yourself or anyone else. All you have to do is call out his name "My Jesus, My Jesus". He knows!

If you read or have read the book you will see these lines at the very end of Chapter 4..."Pieces don't fit. Wine runs out. (John 2). Water bottles burst. These are facts of life. But Jesus responds with this invitation: 'Bring your problems to me.' State them simply. Present them faithfully, and trust him reverently."