The Fear...

The fear of the unknown. The fear of uncertainty. The fear of failure. The fear of survival. No matter our walk with God we all face the fearfulness of life. The fear of the "what ifs". Stepping out in faith for me has never been easy. Something I struggle with is change. If things change...can I handle it? "For God did not give us a spirit of fearfulness..." Then why am I fearful? "...But one of power, love and self-discipline" 2 Timothy 1:7. I trust Him. I follow Him. So why does this fear follow me? Convincing myself daily to live FOR Christ and not in fear of this world isn't easy. To know that He has created me for so much more than fear. Fear cannot control my life if I am longing for a close relationship with my Heavenly Father. I have to turn it over to Him. I have to lay the worries, the burden, the fear at His feet. But,I have to trust that He has control. He knows them each. I don't walk this crazy life alone because He carries me! He carries you! My only strength comes from Him. The grace that he gives is unlike any other. The love that he shows as has is unlike any other. Just know that you can lift your eyes to Him. He will comfort. He will carry you. He is the light in this dark world!

An Ounce Of Worry...

I've been a life-long worry-er. Something I remember having trouble with even as a you child. Being scared at night. Afraid to close my eyes. As an adult those worries changed somewhat. They focused more on health, kids, etc... After losing David's dad 7 years ago I found myself at an all time worry high. To the point I was miserable nearly daily. I knew something had to change. For one I needed to go my knees in deep prayer with Him. I knew that I had to lay it at His feet and turn every ounce of fear, worry, and anxiety over to Him. No, it wasn't instant relief and it actually took several years to re-train my thought process and find true peacefulness. There are just some thing I cannot control. There are somethings...well really all things...that no matter whether I worry about them or not they will not change. I'm getting better. When those "things" arise... And they do...about saying alright there is nothing I can do about this. But God can handle it. He knows the outcome. The beginning and the end and I'm going to trust Him. The realization that came to me several years ago was that I was letting Satan win. Because I was willing to dwell on worry an anxiety Satan was gaining ground in my life. That wasn't okay with me. I do not want to give Satan the satisfaction. I refuse to let him have credit for even an ounce of worry in my life. Yes, I am human and yes, things still happen that want to send me into a fit of worry and anxiety. That first instinct is to get upset and letting my mind take over. What I have found is that I can quickly change that thought and turn it over to God. In the same instant it take to get upset I can say God it's yours and I can't do anything about this.

I see these same struggles with worry in my boys at times. One in particular. There have been many nights up talking and praying. I want my boys to learn from an early age that a simple switch in the mindset now will save them the years of needless worry that I allowed myself to have. Giving to God what we can neither change nor control is all we can truly do!

"Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27

Reap the Reward...

I've been studying about when Jesus crossed the Sea of Galilee. He had huge crowds of people who surrounded and followed Him. They followed because of the miracles He had performed. He had healed and brought to life. When word got out people came. They wanted to see what was being done. They were amazed at what some had seen and some had heard. They wanted to see it for themselves. They wanted to experience it for themselves. When a group of 5,000 or more formed the Disciples weren't sure how they would feed the people. Along came a boy with 5 loaves and two fish. "How will this ever be enough? How will we feed them Lord?" Where had the disciples been? Had they not seen the miracles performed and the wonders for their own eyes? When everyone is done eating there is enough leftovers to fill 12 baskets...they were in awe again at the miracle they had seen before their eyes! Isn't this the same test we face? Every time something happens that we feel like we can't handle and we don't know what to do. "Will we trust our own strength or will we look to the One who has all the power?" Why is it so hard to seek God in these situations instead of trying to figure it all out in our own strength. Which we cannot do! The people wanted to reap the reward of Jesus...they wanted wanted His miracles. They wanted His healing. But did they want Him?

Haven't we all seen ourselves in this same place? We are begging asking God for something. We want to reap the reward that we know only He can give. But do we want to reap the reward from truly knowing Him. Are we constantly asking for things for us. Things that we want. Things that we want to happen or are we seeking Him in every situation. Are we craving closeness in a relationship with Him as we crave the things we ask for. My goal is to seek Him. To know Him. To be His Disciple. To crave the closeness of my Heavenly Father on a daily basis. To be in awe of His presence daily.

Dream Big...Believe Big

Light to a dying world. This is what we want to be. The light that shines for others to see. But often times we feel like we need that light ourselves. When our world feels dark and we look for that re-assurance, a guiding hand, a hand stretched out to help us up. Sometimes the day "gets me". It chews me up and spits me out. It tangles me up and I can't seem to get undone. All the while I feel it...I feel Satan's sheepish grin knowing he "got me" today. Then you sit down and open your Bible or devotion and the words are there. Right in front of you. Satan will not defeat me.

A word that has me right now is the word "content". I keep telling myself to be content for now. It okay. Be patient. When in my heart I scream "NO"! I refuse to be content with where we are. I refuse to be unchanged. I refuse to conform to the way 90% of the world chooses to live. I will not be struck down by mediocrity and allow myself to simply be "content". I choose to live. I want my boys to live. To live  outside of the "norm" and be different. I want them to know that different can be so much better. Wise words from my husband on a beat  myself up day..."Everyday is a gift. Get busy living and loving. Don't wait until it's too late to enjoy the day God has given us." There is a great big world out there calling our names. Screaming to us that the life we want is not set aside for the elite or the select few. It's there for little old us. And little old you. Dream big. Believe big.

The Only...

Sometimes I struggle. Struggle to find the words I need to say. When my prayer time seems silent and still. I know that God knows what is on my heart at every given moment. He knows what is going on in every aspect of our lives. He gives us strength when we are weak. He gives us shelter in the storm. There is so much going on with so many right now. My hear aches for each of them because it truly puts my struggles and issues of insignificance in their place. We don't know what tomorrow holds sick or well, broke or poor, happy or sad. We only know that in this moment God gives us we should strive to be all that He has created us to be. I get bogged down with whatever we are going through. Stressed out. Snippy with the kids...when none of it matters. The things I this earth will pass away...GONE. No one ever said it would be easy while we are here. It may seem like it is for some. "They've just got it easier, better..." When in reality we all face the same struggles and trials of this life. Leaning on God for our strength. Leaning on His truth and faithfulness of His word. It's not easy..we are human. Our minds sometimes go a million miles a minute and cannot grasp all that is going on...but we can find rest. We can find it at His feet. Laying our burdens down before Him. There is hope in tomorrow as long as we put our hope in the ONLY things that is Everlasting!

HIS path...

The light. The word. Isn't it great when verses jump out at you. When you read the words you need to hear. How God purposely places these words in front of you at just the right time. His path for all things being revealed..."For everything was created by Him, in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions, or rulers or authorities-all things have been created through Him and for Him." Colossians 1:16 As Christians all that we do should be for Him. Not for us. Not for our own glory. Not for our own fame. We were created to live our life for Him. He knows the path we cannot see. He knew the beginning just as He knows the end. We pray for guidance. We pray for a lantern to light the path when it seems dark and we don't know which way to go. He has the answers. He always has and He always will. The answer may not be the one we want at times. It may very well be the thing we have been running away from that He calls us to do. I choose to follow His path. Praying the lantern shines bright for the dark stretches ahead. I choose to listen and obey. I want to be obedient and embrace the journey He sets before us. To truly believe that no matter what the journey is ...His purpose will be revealed. His light will shine. He gets the glory and the praise. "Now if you will listen to Me and carefully keep My covenant, you will be My own possession." Exodus 19:5

The Path...

Sometimes we hit a crossroads in life. When you must make a decision for change. Change sometimes forces the uncomfortable. Forces the value of what is important and what isn't. We often need that little shove to say "ok" this is what has to be done. When we look around and can't see progress it time to wake up. It's time to say "Lord I'm here, what do you want for me?" We can no longer sit idle and expect something to just happen. Yes, we trust. Yes, we stand faithful. But there must be movement. There must be a step forward in search of the right path. If the path is never tested we stand in confusion. We stand still. Too afraid to make a move in fear it might be the wrong move. But what if it's the right one? What if it's the move that changes everything. What if it's the move that opens all those doors that have remained shut for so long. Sometimes we get too comfortable where we are. Sometimes we are just furniture taking up space...Never making the "wrong move". We are predictable and trustworthy because we are always the same. What happens when we start moving? What happens when we take a step down "that path" and test the stability of it. What if? I truly feel God had a plan for all our lives. Not all are called to minister. Not all are called to teach. Sometimes we are called to serve. Sometimes to be a comfort or be a listening ear. When we are searching for that "it" we are called to do we pray. We seek guidance. We earnestly search and study Gods word in revelation. The song "I Wanna Live with Abandon" by Newsboys circles through my head constantly...these words

There's gotta be so much more to life than this
A higher calling that I missed
I want my life to count, every breath
I wanna live with abandon
Give You all that I am
Every part of my heart Jesus
I place in Your hands
I wanna live with abandon

So all I can say is that if you don't know your place in this world and you want to know. Search Him. Seek Him. Lay it at his feet daily. The answers will come. Remain faithful. Trust and know that in His timing it will be revealed.